Shame Won’t Scare Me

I get tested before every new partner, and after the relationship ends. I started this practice after I contracted chlamydia a couple of years ago. When I was younger, I would only get tested once a year. There were times when I would have drunk sex or a casual hookup. Most of the time we’d use condoms, but overall, I was more careless when I was younger. I guess I thought that I wouldn’t contract anything, or it wouldn’t be a big deal if I did. I just didn’t think about it as something that could happen to me.

Now I know that anyone can get an STI. It doesn’t matter what people look like, or how they act. I’m not naïve anymore. I was shocked when I found out I had chlamydia. I was going in for an annual screening with my gynecologist. I didn’t have any symptoms. I called all my partners since the previous time I was tested, let them know of my status, and suggested they get tested as well. I got some different responses. Some folks were more stigmatizing or just rude than others. I don’t regret telling anyone though. We were all adults that consented to having sex, without any conversations about our sexual health prior to. I think it’s better for people to know than let shame scare me into hiding my status.

It was an eye-opening experience for me. After that, I started getting tested before and after each new partner. Is it annoying sometimes to have to wait until you both get tested and show each other your results? Sure, it takes away some of the spontaneity. It’s worth it to me though, to know I’m taking care of my sexual health. I’m protecting other people too, by encouraging new potential partners to get tested and helping end that stigma around talking about sexual health. There’s nothing shameful or embarrassing about taking care of your body.